Honor Academy

So for six and a half months i have been living in Texas at a place called the Honor Academy.

It is amazing and fun and challenging and emotionally and physically draining, but the Lord is doing such a work in me and i love it.

I have a core here (two rooms next to each other) and they are awesome sisters.

Then i have a family core which is my core and the same thing only with guys put us all together and we are a family.

We lift each other up in the Lord and it is good to have a man treat you with respect and humility.

I miss my family back home but the Lord has me here for a reason and i am going to stick it out.

I need money every month and so that is my priority as of now, besides Jesus of coarse.

I keep getting asked if i am going to stay another year, i am however in prayer about it but as of now NO i am not.

I plan to move back home and move on with my life in the Lord with my family and friends.

So i am at a point in my life where everything is making sense and the Lord is revealing to me how much He loves me and now i have to do with it what He wants me to.

The unexpected

I think one valuable lesson you can learn in life is to expect the unexpected and roll with the punches.

I have recently began to know that you cannot change the past but move on forward.

In my recent studies i have been learning about worries and how the bible says, "do not worry about tomorrow for tomorrow has to many troubles and will worry about itself".

Of coarse i am paraphrasing.

But the thought that worry doesn't add to your life but take away is frightening in and of itself to me.

I think that it is true and the only thing i can do is roll with the punches with God by my side and as long as he is there with me and there to help me i am confident that in can take on the unexpected.

So i will say "God grant me the serenity to accept the things i cannot change and to change the things i can".

(i am probably saying that wrong but as long as i get it its okay :)

Be still

So my recent study with my young adult group at my church was about worry.
now worry will consume you and overtake you and your life.
People let worry run them into destruction and they try to battle all of their troubles and problems all at once.
But i heard a wise man say you should take them one at a time like the three hundred Spartans who made the troubles come to them one at a time and then destroyed them one by one.
Sounds allot easier than it would actually be right?
But i think it is something to think about.
Today i also heard a quote and the person said "Why do we worry about things that haven't happened yet"?
And it hit me soo much o how that is true because we do worry about none sense and then when God comes through for us we feel like we are jerks for not listening and saying i do trust you God and i know you will help me through this.
Now we read through Matthew and in the passage i think the verse that hit me the most was "Do not the birds fly without a care and God takes care of them, if he takes care of them will he not than make sure you are fed, and clothed"? (of coarse i paraphrased).
but it hit me like a slap in the face, i mean if god takes care of all the creatures then wouldn't he take care of us when we are much more precious to him?
So overall i have been opened up to the fact that all of the worries for today God will help me with for i don't know what tomorrow will bring and i know that God will protect me :)

Lif3

so life has this way of making me soo wiped and dead and then rejuvenating me.

i know that everyone has their ups and downs but why am i always the one who feels the most drained.

I have already learned that college was going to be hard and it is as hard as i thought but i still feel a little over my head sometimes.

On top of watching babies school work friends and church activities i feel gone.

Some days i feel like I'm looking at a glass half empty and then half full but either way it is still not overflowing.

I love my family and friends but sometimes i wish life could be as easy as a movie to where i could just pack up a car and leave never looking back but going wherever the road led.

But then you have to worry about money and shelter and social needs and family, so in one word this trip would be impossible.

I wish someday i can go on a trip for a long time and not have to have people depend on me or need me fr something.

But then again i doubt that will ever happen, i guess you get used to reality and stop dreaming right.

I mean i heard a quote "Fantasy is just a dream if it came real than it wouldn't be called a dream".

i never paid attention to that until i understood it.

So i will hold on to my fantasy and dreams until they turn sour.

It happens in a Blink

When i first started high school i thought "Wow four years is going to last forever".

And now that i am starting college i can't help but feel like it happened to fast.

:(

I know right indecisive.

In less than one week i will officially be a freshman in college and on my way to being a doctor.

Scary the thought of eight or even twelve years passing me by just as fast as four years can.

I'm still stuck on the month of May and it's August.

The profession i chose is probably the one that requires the most school and i hate school with a a passion!

But i chose it because i want to help save lives and make a better world for generations to come.

Sure the money will be good but its not the reason i wanted to be a doctor.

And i get that all the time but no money will die along with the rest of this world i just want to save people for as long as i can.

I know that maybe these years with pass me by with flying by and in ten fifteen years I'm going to wondering where the time went and that is what is so mindboggeling to me.

How something , that at the time feels like slow motion and then years down the road makes you rethink time?

My mind runs in circles.

But overall i am happy to start a new decades worth of school if ultimately it will lead me to saving people and helping them to save their souls by getting to know God than time will have been well spent.

All Things Wise

It has been a while since i have posted and maybe because i feel like i am living in slow motion right now?
The days go by slowly and pro-longingly if that makes sense?
I am going to be a Freshman in college!!
And that thought scares me to death, i don't know if its the fact that i am getting older or the fact that i have so many things to worry about now or just that i am weird?
All valuable arguments.
I think some days i just get so drained that the next day all i can be is tired.
And i have defiantly been more tired than the average person.
I love all my family and friends i would be lost without them and God holding me down.
I think gravity has no more affect on me.
I miss my dad more and more with each passing year, i think sometimes i start to forget the little things and that is one of the scariest thoughts i have ever encountered.
But He will always be in my heart and i cannot wait to see him when i leave this world of pain, pain and more pain.
But you have to take the good with the bad and vice versa.
I mean without good i would be in an asylum right now.
I have everyone who takes care of my mental health for that!
Thanks!!
I have my sisters and then my best friend who is practically my sister!!
But in conclusion i think that if it weren't for many things keeping me stable in mind and gravity wise i would be insane and i am soo blessed to have all of them, you know who you are!
So i love everybody for that!

Letting go

I think that letting go of the past is harder than it seems and no matter how much we would all love to forget, the devil just wants us to remember.

I know personally that i would be less bitter and angry and ect... if my past wouldn't haunt me!

But as long as it gets thrown in your face you can always throw it to God and let him keep it so you don't have to remember anymore.

I know its easier said than done but necessary.

I have been soo busy lately it seems some day for em are doing just soo many things.

Its one thing after the other and then the next its nothing at all but boredom.

And that is my pattern for now.

Being an adult is not as bad as it sound but you still have much more responsibilities that were to known to you before so its hard but you can overlook such things.

I am very happy with where i am at and i love that i am going to be a freshman in college.

On the other hand being a nanny is getting easier as the triplets get older and smarter lol.

But over all my life is moving somewhat smoothly and i am loving it!